Meal fit for a Kling

Publicerad: 2009-09-16

Simon Kling, vice-CEO of Acta, the Norwegian rental property management company has been sent a mystery package to his home in Täby, on the outskirts of Stockholm. Kling became suspicious of the parcel and called police. The package was opened and inside were 21 large, and very boisterous, cockroaches. A scribbled note was also found that read 'Fix our Rosengård flats NOW!'. Irate tenants of the Acta-owned flats in the Rosengård area of Malmö claim that the run-down state of the homes has become so bad that cockroach infestation has become a worse problem than the rats.

However, Simon Kling is far from repulsed by the surprise parcel from his tenants. 'I used to live in Mexico and these things are a delicacy! I can't thank our tenants enough for sending me 21 juicy specimens and thought I'd share the original Mexican recipe with SvenskBladet readers on how to prepare these yumma-mumma canapés! I was only a bit upset that they hadn't sent more,' Simon said as he donned his blue pin-striped kitchen apron.

Simon Kling's Cockroach a la Rosengård recipe

Method:

1. Take a fresh cockroach, remove & discard the solid wing covering flaps.
2. Slice off the head and arse area.
3. Pull off the legs.
4. Make an incision along the back of what's left & crack it open down the middle, revealing the fleshy insides.
5. Place your opened 'roach under a low grill for two minutes.
6. Artistically present it on a plate (i.e. put a slice of lemon next to it).
7. Use a teaspoon and fingers to gouge out the meat.
8. Enjoy!

Simon adds: 'Just like eating crayfish, make sure you suck on the shell of the roach to extract all those subtle and delectable tastes, which all depend on what the roach was feeding on beforehand. I usually drink nice cold beer with these and not forgetting to sing the Acta song...same tune as Monty Python's 'I’m a lumberjack!' Skål and bon apetit!'.

I'm a cockroach and I'm all right
We live in Acta's flats and give everyone a fright
The place is too filthy for even rats to contemplate
But still Kling and company are too stingey to renovate!

Rosengård's 'son' Zlatan Ibrahimovich, currently located in Barcelona, mailed our offices saying 'Tack SvenskBladet för kakerlakor receptet. De finns gott om dom härnere så ska prova den snart! Gott gotti gott gott!'

Rupert Duncan-Smythe

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